“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 

You are not alone. I know it feels like it sometimes. In the middle of the night when the hopelessness comes and it feels as though there is no one there for you. You are convinced that there should be someone who understands you and wants to comfort you and give you a shoulder to lean on. You may think,”There should be someone who loves me. Why does my life feel so empty and colorless while others live with joy and accomplishments?” Let me encourage you because I have been where you are. There is Someone who loves you. There is Someone who sees your pain. He hears your cries in the night. He knows your suffering. He will comfort you.

I battled deep depression for many years and I blamed others for not being there for me. The nights were the hardest. My closest relationships weren’t working and I didn’t understand why people could not see my pain. I had nights like those described above so I would get up, go to another room, take my Bible and read, often while tears streamed down my face. I just hurt. It was only by being in His word, being washed in His unconditional love, that I learned to praise God in the midst of my sadness. I was beginning to understand Ephesians 5:8-9, “For you were once darkness but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness and truth).” I was beginning to understand that knowing Jesus was more than a belief. Understanding His love for me, what He did for me, meant I no longer had to walk in the darkness of rejection and hopelessness. He bore that for me on the cross. I became dependent on the only One who could, not only comfort me, but heal me from the inside out. I learned that expecting someone else to make me feel whole and loved would only push them away and then that pain of rejection would be more intense than the initial pain. It was a terrible cycle and being washed in the light of God’s word is where I am healing. 

How did I begin to understand His love for me? I stayed in His word and it became the joy of my life to read and sit in His presence. Where did I find that goodness, righteousness and truth? It was only in His word. I, even now, remind myself daily to live in the light of God’s word. I choose to share that Jesus is the Light of my life. He is my only hope for this life and the life to come. I don’t live in the past yet I will not forget it because I know there are many out there who suffer and need this encouragement.